Jack of No Trades

/in /by

ImageWhen James Taylor sang, “Hey babe, I’m your handyman”, I’ll bet he wasn’t standing in his Crocs holding a roll of duct tape and a staple gun.  Granted he was singing about feelings, not faucets, but I’ll take a man who can fix my broken heart over one who can re-caulk my plumbing any day (don’t go there).

The term handy really is a misnomer when it comes to my wonderfully attentive yet home maintenance-distracted husband.  In his ‘live in the moment’ mind, any rudimentary effect that can restore basic functionality is definitely the way to go.  So in our house, handy has brought us such dazzling, long-term solutions as the raised floor-nail repair:

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Or every plumber’s ace up his sleeve, the broken faucet scrunchie-solution:

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Yes, I’m reminded daily of my growing need to find a reliable handyman, because clearly I don’t have a live-in.

But as I’m discovering, not every woman needs one.  I was talking with a couple last week, friends of mine who wanted to give their 11-year old daughter a key to the house.  But their front door lock had been so finicky of late, they were afraid she wouldn’t be able to finesse the key to get in.

As they relayed the story, Duncan snickered to himself, admitting that upon careful examination of the lock, he had emphatically deduced that his best, if not his only option, was to head to Rona to buy a whole new door.  Ever the pragmatic partner however, Tina had calmly found a can of WD40 buried under the kitchen sink, sprayed the begeepers out of the keyhole, et voila … problem solved and a whack of dough saved.

Alright, so neither of us are married to Tim the Toolman Taylor.  And so what if the lumber Andrew bought 3 years ago to repair our back deck is warping in a moist stack at the back of our yard.  These men have heart, and delicious senses of humour … in skillful, bulging doses.

Now that’s my kind of handyman.

  1. Escaping Elegance
    Escaping Elegance says:

    Oooo… I have a handyman just like yours at home. Last month, the “replace the faucet” project took 3 days, about 20 trips to the hardware store and the involvement of 2 neighbours! Don’t even get me started on the basement reno that he thinks he can do himself…

  2. mamacormier
    mamacormier says:

    My husband promised me that when we did our second floor addition to the house that he would not let projects go unfinished. That was over 25 years ago and I’m still waiting for a railing on the stairs, for a hole to be repaired in the basement ceiling and bathroom ceiling……..etc., etc.

  3. Anne-Marie Nelson
    Anne-Marie Nelson says:

    Your husband is my husband! His tool box consists of primarily of duct tape. He once built a crate that was supposed to be used for shipping – but he used nails ,not screws. The whole thing fell apart before we could even put anything in it. Ah well . . . he’s a sweetheart – just don’t ask him to repair anything!

  8. Marvelous Michelle
    Marvelous Michelle says:

    Now ladies don’t hate me BUT my husband is a handyman. He can fix anything and what’s more he does. Even our daughters who have now both moved out of home prefer to get their Dad to fix any issues rather than their husbands/partners because they know their Dad will fix it properly. However he does spend a lot of time away from home which means over the years I have become very proficient at fixing most things, either with super glue or my trusty tin of WD40.
    I particularly liked the scrunchy that fixed the tap!

  11. arlene yolles
    arlene yolles says:

    Funny post. MY husband is not only handy, he built the house we live in (earth-sheltered) so I have nothing to complain about. Get the book “There, I Fixed It” published by Cheezburger Network. You’ll laugh your head off.